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February 7
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Plum Dragon
Story by Prince A.

"Everyone! Gas masks on!" The teacher's voice echoed carrying wind throughout the training grounds. Baggy blue boots crunched the cindered leaves on the path beneath the midday sun. Hissing began to rumble amongst the young audience. The teacher raised her hand in dismay. Lifting up her gas mask, she announces, "Go ahead Psyva."

Standing before the target posted on an old tree, Psyva stumps her foot with authority. She throws her head back while shouting, "Acid of the Poison Dragon!"

Her teacher jumping in the background yelling, "Not that!"

Psyva throws her head forward and bends her knees as she spews a shot of purple goo onto the bullseye before her. The target melts with smoke rising. Scared sweats flood under gas masks.

One of Psyva's peers yells out, "Stop naming your attacks like that! Your not even a dragon!"

Another weaker voice from behind follows with, "Your just a sinister snake!"

Laughter surrounds the yard.

Psyva gets punished for disobeying the rules of her acid usage. The teacher scolds her for not using the power of her poison-spore smoke. Her teacher exits to carry on the class. Looking out the window as the classmates continues the lesson without her, Psyva thinks of her misfortunes.

Psyva Scallion is an 11 year old girl attending a dragon training school, but there's one problem. She's a snake. The young girl was born a snake in a town of dragons. Both of her older siblings are dragons as is her parents. Most parents in the town wait to have their children during the dragon year so the tradition and honor of dragons may live on. Psyva was also intended to be born this way, but she was born a month later falling into the snake's year.

The young snake, refers to herself as a dragon, though all knows her to be anything but a dragon. She's considered the rules to be unfair and doesn't follow any except the first due to its personal benefits. A list of rules were created for her requirements attending dragon training. Those rules read:

1. Psyva must where black glasses at all times while attending Dragon Gold Scale Academy.
2. Psyva must avoid using acid at any time because it is a danger to her fellow students.
3. Psyva must wear appropriate clothing that doesn't reveal too much of her scales that differ from her dragon peers.
4. Psyva must…

The list goes on with several demands to make her life at the Dragon Gold Scale Academy a fair one for the other students.

Psyva leaves her punishment to walk down the hollow hall thinking to herself, "I am a dragon…of a different kind." She encounters with a teacher who questions why she isn't in class. She lays out the truth. He is Mr. Taron, The Dragon of Blue Flames.

Mr. Taron begins to say, "I don't understand why you would choose to be at a dragon training school."

Psyva grits as she says, "I'm a dragon in the making!"

Mr. Taron replies with a smile, " Dragons are seen as enchantments in our world. But there was once a fairy tale about dragons. It said that dragons were once snakes. No one knows the truth about this."

Psyva head lowers in a flash of pink cheeks as she says, "I don't want to talk about this anymore."

Mr. Taron smile continues strong observing the small hands trying to cover up their expression that glasses will not hide.

In the night as she was laid in her creaky bed, Psyva thought back on what Mr. Taron said. "It was probably mean to tell him to shut up. I did it nicely. I didn't want him to ruin the fairy tale about dragons", she thought as she fell asleep.

The moon high over the sleeping town catches the swift shadows that run across the homes. A group of three figures split into the homes and into the rooms of the dragon children. One by one, house to house, the shadows have thieving hands that grab their prey.

Tossed into cages within the training ground, the prisoners wake from their sleep in confusion. They see their kidnappers before them as menacing silhouettes. Screams and cries bellow as they come to terms of the daunting situation.

A young dragon yells, "Lets use our Dragon Fire Shooters! These cages can't hold us!"

The kids in their act of desperation inhale with all their might shouting, "Dragon Fire Shooter!" Dumbfounded faces circle the young ones as nothing happens.

"Why can't we use fire," a child yells.

The shadow figure steps into the moon's aura. The children gasp in fright as they see their monsters. They are Water Horse outlaws.

The leader in a black robe steps forward saying, "Look carefully at the cage. It's letting off a high concentration of Hydro Air. Young dragons like yourself can't summon the flames like normal. There will be no escape!"

The robbers laugh as they walk back to prepare their getaway van. The scared little dragons are stricken by a wave of silent fear. The silence breaks as a roar reaches them within the cage. The turn slowly to see that it's Psyva's snoring. A young dragon walks to wake her up.

"Behold my powerful fire…zzz…dragon…flame…zzz…," Psyva speaks through her snoring.

The boy nudges, "Wake up Psyva!"

Psyva in a disgruntle mood, jumps up and sees her classmates. She questions their appearance in her room. They recollect her conscious to the cage and the dire situation that has befallen them.

"Step back!" Psyva continues, "I'm getting us outta here."

Someone exclaims, "But we can't use our flames!"

Psyva shoot a blast of purple goo from her acid attack onto the bars. Everyone is happy that she helped them escape, but she looks dumbfounded.

"What happen to my flames?!" she shouts.

"You never had any!" a fellow classmate replies.

"You were dreaming!" another says.

Thanks for saving us!" others followed.

"What do we have here?" a voice of the children's thieves shudders their joy into silence.

The thieves stand before the children they intend to steal. Ordering the dragons back into their cages, they curiously observe as one comes from the crowd as a leader.

Psyva says with a grin, "Everyone! Gas masks on!"

All her classmates look at each other with wide peepers. They then look at the robbers and then the children cover their mouths and noses. The robbers laugh at the hysterics of the situation.

"Did you forget that you can not use flames for a while after being in our Hydrolic Chambers." The thief boasts with supported chuckles from his partners in crime.

Psyva swings her head back, "Poison-Fume Dragon Breath!"

The robbers run , but a rushed by Psyva's knockout technique. They fall hard to the ground. The children cheer Psyva on. The windows of the town's houses start to glow, one by one.
:iconsharinku:
This is my written entry for the contest hosted by :iconmangasquad:
Rules: [link]

The main character art is here! [link]

I hope you all enjoy my short story and wish me luck.

Please let me know what you think also. I want to grow as a writer/mangaka.
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:iconshinguamito:
*ShinguAmito Feb 7, 2013  Student General Artist
All in all, a fair story!!!

The concept is interesting, and I like how the character was introduced. Now the design of your character makes sense!

There was one thing in particular I'd check up on:

Proof your work for grammar (not spelling)... some sentence felt odd to read and didn't sound right. While I understood the story, the grammar mistakes will lead people out of your story and world.

Other than that, I think the overall story, while a tad cliche, still resonates because everyone hates being the outcast, and can easily relate to your main character, and thus when she finally does have her chance to shine, it made me feel good. And satisfaction is definitely something you nailed pretty well here!

Nice work, and good luck!!
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:iconsharinku:
Mood: Optimism ~Sharinku Feb 7, 2013  Student General Artist
Thanks for your honesty! I hope I can grow from it and creative something soundly original. I guess I'm in my shounen manga mind and high on fairy tail. The ending was more quick than I wanted it, and I had an alternate version, so I may rewrite this and see if I can make it better.

After reading your story, and reading your comment here about my grammar, it may have been the way I wrote my sentences. I reread and listened to it over 3 times (which means 4x's in a nutshell). I think I need to maybe make my sentences more simple and cut out unnecessary things. The ending isn't exactly how I picture it, but I didn't give any other characters than Psyva and her teachers in detail. I think making classmates actual characters would be better for the story too.

I'm glad you like the character. I think what you liked was probably what I took the most time plotting and writing. I really wanted to make a good opening with a good attention grabber. The ABC's of writing I suppose. It means a lot that you read it and I'm very grateful for you feedback. Best of luck to you and your story.
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:iconshinguamito:
*ShinguAmito Feb 8, 2013  Student General Artist
I actually like the simplification of not too many characters.. you want to showcase your main character for this contest; you did that effectively. But you are right, characterizing classmates will help the overall story.

I'm no expert though... join my group :iconmangaka-lobby: and submit this to the critique folder. There's some epic writers there that can give a better critique on your work, if you want to improve!!! Just a thought.
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:iconsharinku:
~Sharinku Feb 8, 2013  Student General Artist
Thank you. I will join, but I plan to submit a different story instead of this one. I have two writing contests that I will be entering as well as a drawing contest, so I hope to submit those into your group. Maybe new works will come in before those submissions.
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:iconshinguamito:
*ShinguAmito Feb 9, 2013  Student General Artist
that's quite alright!!! I will look forward to seeing any work you produce!! keep working hard!!!
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:iconsharinku:
~Sharinku Feb 7, 2013  Student General Artist
create instead of "creative". I'm so used to using creative due to my google searches.
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